JOURNEY TO IKEA

2023-01-05

In Melbourne, Australia, there are 2 IKEAs. One in Richmond, and one in Springvale. At the time, I had no car, and I didn't know that the Richmond one existed, so I decided to go to IKEA in Springvale, which was much further.

Doing so required the use of public transport. In the early hours of the day, I hopped on the bus, and made my way to IKEA.

The journey there was unbelievably boring. so boring, It felt like I had transcended the confines of my earthly body, and ascended to a realm of pure nothingness. I percieved nothing, I was not there.

The bus stops came and went. Templestowe. Doncaster. Blackburn. Glen Waverley. People boarded and disembarked, but through all their micro-journeys, I was there, at the back of the bus. No music, no headphones. Sitting. Waiting.

Now that I think about it, I don't know why I subjected myself to such mind-numbing boredom. I had my phone and headphones on me the entire time.

What snapped me out of my meditative trance was an old Asian man entering the bus, around the halfway point of my journey. After a brief word with the driver, he came to the back of the bus and sat across from me.

When I tried to re-enter my state of pure unfocus, I spotted movement in my peripheral vision. I turned, and I saw the old man showing me his phone. On the screen was a Wordpress site with a red ornate background.

"My poetry," he said.

I looked at him, then back to the screen.

"Cool," I replied. "Did you make this?"

"My daughter," he said, scrolling down the page, showing me all his poems, but too fast for me to be able to read any.

After a brief conversation, the old man reached his stop. as I watched him walk down the footpath through the bus's windows, I realised something.

I forgot to ask for the URL.

If the poet in question is reading this somehow, please send me the link to your cool site. Thank you.

Anyway, after many hours (2), and many kilometres (42), I got off at my stop. From there, there was about a 20 minute walk before finally reaching IKEA. As I trekked through the final leg of my journey, I walked past a pile of kids' tricycles. I considered commandeering one, to assist me on my quest, but I decided against it, because there was a scary man there.

As I clambered up the suburban hills, I saw it. A deep blue cube on the horizon. IKEA. This is what Columbus must have felt.

But my prize was snatched away from me. I felt a vibration in my pocket, and a sense of dread filled my mind. My mum was ringing me. She told me to come home.

Devastated, I headed back to the bus stop. You may be asking; what was the reason for this epic, 7 Years in Tibet-esque journey? The answer: none.